Black Girl Fly: Embrace Purpose + Build Wealth

Finding your Success

October 31, 2022 Tenisha & Tashaunda Season 4 Episode 15
Black Girl Fly: Embrace Purpose + Build Wealth
Finding your Success
Black Girl Fly: Embrace Purpose + Build Wealth +
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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Success can look different to various people. The way your parents taught you to think about success may evolve and change and that's ok! You no longer have to check those generic success checkboxes.

On today's episode of Black Girl Fly, we discuss success, what we've been taught about success, and how we determine what success looks like on our own terms. This is still an employee market... demand what will make you happy and bring you the most success. 


EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS
[:23] Introduction
[:38] Finding Your Success
[4:45] Success Checkboxes 
[10:47] Business is Changing- Be Yourself
[16:30] Make Demands in Business
[23:47] Takeaways

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00;56;24;12 - 00;56;27;23
Speaker 1
Welcome back to another episode of Black Girl Fly. I'm Your Girl, Tanisha, Nicole.

00;56;27;23 - 00;56;28;25
Speaker 2
And I'm Shannon Dixon.

00;56;29;07 - 00;56;54;04
Speaker 1
And today we're talking about sex. Yes, yeah, yeah. And I think so. I just saw this where I listen to this this podcast episode with Rachel Raptors and Matty James and apparently Matty James just came out with a book, something about like owning your own magic and like this concept of magic being your own version of success. I'm going to put a huge disclaimer out here.

00;56;54;04 - 00;56;57;12
Speaker 1
I have not read the book. I don't even know the name of the book, but I'm going to look it up.

00;56;57;13 - 00;56;57;28
Speaker 3
Okay?

00;56;58;13 - 00;57;25;08
Speaker 1
But I listen to this podcast episode and it was it was beautiful. Like it was her really encouraging other people, many James and Rachel writers that are the herbs in that story to find what it is that makes them successful in their own minds and bring them personal joy. Right. And I think that is not the view that success, you know, has had in our side.

00;57;25;08 - 00;57;32;25
Speaker 2
Yeah. And I think that's super important. Like we talked about this before, but when I was growing up, sex at home looked one way right.

00;57;32;25 - 00;57;34;05
Speaker 1
Doctor teach you.

00;57;34;21 - 00;57;37;23
Speaker 2
And you're married. Married to you had a house.

00;57;38;04 - 00;57;39;14
Speaker 1
And a dog house.

00;57;40;01 - 00;57;40;29
Speaker 2
And you drove a nice car.

00;57;40;29 - 00;57;41;21
Speaker 1
And nice car.

00;57;41;21 - 00;57;42;15
Speaker 2
Yeah, that meant.

00;57;42;15 - 00;57;43;24
Speaker 1
BMW or an Audi.

00;57;43;25 - 00;57;44;23
Speaker 3
Specifically.

00;57;45;20 - 00;57;48;00
Speaker 2
Yeah. I guess you all younger than me. We had a couple of other.

00;57;48;01 - 00;57;50;14
Speaker 3
Choices.

00;57;50;14 - 00;57;54;03
Speaker 1
But yeah, that is literally those were all the check, check, check, check.

00;57;54;05 - 00;58;01;02
Speaker 2
It was it was it. But but now come on now it's 2022 and you could be anybody nowadays like you don't have to be.

00;58;01;02 - 00;58;02;22
Speaker 1
President if you want to like.

00;58;02;22 - 00;58;04;22
Speaker 3
Legit be president if you want to.

00;58;04;22 - 00;58;07;08
Speaker 1
Not like, oh, when I grow up, I want to be president. No.

00;58;07;29 - 00;58;08;17
Speaker 3
Donald Trump.

00;58;08;22 - 00;58;09;29
Speaker 1
Okay, no.

00;58;09;29 - 00;58;12;12
Speaker 3
Sid Yeah, you're right. But I.

00;58;12;12 - 00;58;15;12
Speaker 2
Mean, but being successful right like now.

00;58;16;03 - 00;58;16;24
Speaker 3
I.

00;58;16;24 - 00;58;22;01
Speaker 2
Hate to bring it up but I do feel like I can say this now. You got the whole side chick for now.

00;58;22;01 - 00;58;23;23
Speaker 3
I'm like, Well, I mean.

00;58;24;04 - 00;58;31;18
Speaker 2
Well, it used to be like like being a sidekick back in the day. Used to be a secret, right? Yeah. Like, but now people are proud. Like, they like homicide.

00;58;31;21 - 00;58;41;13
Speaker 1
I just wonder, like, at what point did the Basketball Wives all become basketball side chicks? Like, how did the show become about that? I don't.

00;58;42;03 - 00;58;46;09
Speaker 3
Know. So I'm going to get past it. All right, but I'll be back.

00;58;46;09 - 00;59;03;20
Speaker 2
But what I'm saying, though, is, like, you get Cardi B out on the scene, like when Cardi B came out, she was a stripper and and she was like, I want a different life for myself and I won't get it. You got these kids on YouTube. All they doing is playing video game. They are living their best life, playing video games, getting big check.

00;59;03;21 - 00;59;15;03
Speaker 1
Yes, Lord. Right. Like I'm here getting NATO's photos and making millions. Don't you know, I got to tell people photos are ugly. That's why.

00;59;16;17 - 00;59;24;24
Speaker 3
I'm mad. I will be making to tell many. Okay. Oh, I got a part of my body I need to check. Oh, like point.

00;59;24;24 - 00;59;42;06
Speaker 2
Is though is that I mean not just careerwise though people I that's my subjects. People are living a different kind of life. It's no longer like the tiny house things and hey, man, you don't need to have your own house. You can live in a tiny one in the woods in in Alaska. I guess this last.

00;59;42;11 - 00;59;50;15
Speaker 3
Year it watching like that's very simply watching the show the but I mean with life.

00;59;50;15 - 00;59;56;26
Speaker 2
Looks different right like like when you talk about success some people are like I have no kids. It's not me. Me. I'm riding.

00;59;56;26 - 00;59;57;05
Speaker 3
Out.

00;59;57;08 - 00;59;59;23
Speaker 1
Right, right. Me and my girlfriend.

00;59;59;23 - 01;00;01;19
Speaker 3
Yes. But I mean.

01;00;01;19 - 01;00;06;26
Speaker 2
So so I just wanted to I felt it was necessary to say all of that is acceptable.

01;00;07;04 - 01;00;08;23
Speaker 1
I do love day.

01;00;08;23 - 01;00;16;12
Speaker 2
Like like I'm down like like when I first met Cardi B, I didn't like her because know she was on one of them.

01;00;16;14 - 01;00;20;22
Speaker 3
Show love hip. But I think I'm dead serious.

01;00;20;22 - 01;00;27;14
Speaker 2
Like she was talking about that. I was like, Oh, sorry, Cardi. But I did say that. But now I'm like, She's the boss.

01;00;27;14 - 01;00;31;11
Speaker 1
He's the boss smart, she's intelligent, she's working her work. Okay.

01;00;31;12 - 01;00;43;00
Speaker 2
Yeah, but I mean, but not only that, what I, what I respect about her is that she's like, this is who I am. I believe in who I am. I'm confident in who I am. And I'm gonna be who I am all the way out. Right.

01;00;43;09 - 01;00;55;10
Speaker 1
I detect that about her. And I feel like I feel like the shift that's been happening, I think in the vision of success, like it really was these checkboxes like for our parents generation, like that was weird.

01;00;55;12 - 01;01;13;03
Speaker 2
But no, not me. I killed myself like like like speaking real. Like, like, put it all out there. You guys know, I tell all my business, but, like, I was trying to check those boxes, like, so much so. And I'm going to tell you this is that I dated a guy for three years. I was like, What's next?

01;01;13;03 - 01;01;19;14
Speaker 2
Do like we've been together three years? And he was like, Would you, you, you, you got to give me.

01;01;20;18 - 01;01;27;23
Speaker 3
And I was like, Yeah, like and I told him straight up. And that was probably the worst decision I've ever made.

01;01;27;23 - 01;01;36;27
Speaker 2
But I'll put it out there because it's real, because I had this mandate of this is what success looks like. So for me, successful, this is what I got to do. And it wasn't the right thing.

01;01;36;27 - 01;01;59;28
Speaker 1
Wasn't right. Yeah. And I feel like I feel like the shift. I mean, I feel like there's still a lot of us out here doing that checking boxes. But I think this shift that we're talking about, though, is really about creating lifestyles that we want versus checking boxes. Yeah. So I think about the kids who are making these YouTube videos, making lots of money.

01;02;00;14 - 01;02;02;20
Speaker 1
They are living their literal best life.

01;02;02;20 - 01;02;05;29
Speaker 2
They give me my kids to watch kids play.

01;02;05;29 - 01;02;10;08
Speaker 1
They are getting paid to play. What kid would not love that.

01;02;10;10 - 01;02;14;19
Speaker 2
They just have my best life. I mean, they're parenting about the toys they want.

01;02;14;24 - 01;02;15;23
Speaker 1
Yeah.

01;02;15;23 - 01;02;17;12
Speaker 3
Because they get paid to play with them.

01;02;17;12 - 01;02;31;19
Speaker 1
And I'm like, this is such a fundamental shift, though. Like, they're, they're making life work for them. Yeah, right. Making the way that they want to live, work for them and be beneficial to them. And I think that's just my way.

01;02;31;28 - 01;02;35;11
Speaker 2
But I mean, and the same is true for the fetish people. The people with the feet.

01;02;35;27 - 01;02;37;11
Speaker 3
Yeah, okay.

01;02;37;11 - 01;02;38;20
Speaker 2
I know everyone has to be okay.

01;02;39;01 - 01;02;39;13
Speaker 3
Money.

01;02;39;21 - 01;02;40;17
Speaker 1
Money, money.

01;02;41;09 - 01;03;04;25
Speaker 2
Money. I mean, they're able to live out their would be with their kids like they're at home during the day. They're doing this during the night like they they are. They are they found something and they feel good. You happy have be people but not admired but. But they found something that allows them to be them. Right. And I think that that is the coolest thing that you can do in life.

01;03;04;29 - 01;03;10;18
Speaker 1
Yes. And I feel like I'm like, dang, where did these people get this permission to, like, be themselves?

01;03;10;18 - 01;03;15;06
Speaker 3
Like people they're looking for that from like yo real story.

01;03;15;07 - 01;03;40;10
Speaker 1
You know, I never get my transparent story, but all designed. And I went to the strategic planning retreat back in May and it's for my business that I was pivoting and I was I came out of it. I agonized about what I was going to wear when I was packing my suitcase. Yeah, I always do. I'm packing is, like, such a big thing to me.

01;03;40;10 - 01;03;59;19
Speaker 1
I plan it out weeks in advance. I got pictures of my inventory of clothes and I, you know, meticulously put it together is a real thing. And I was like, what am I going to wear to this event? And I felt so, like, so self-conscious about the option that I chose. And like, everybody loved it when I was there and they were like.

01;03;59;24 - 01;04;02;03
Speaker 3
This is your business. You could do whatever you want. Yes.

01;04;02;05 - 01;04;11;04
Speaker 2
So let me be clear. We are going to an event where she paid a consultant to consult her and her team that she manages making.

01;04;12;04 - 01;04;15;20
Speaker 3
Yeah. And so she was concerned about what she was going to make.

01;04;17;07 - 01;04;29;20
Speaker 2
But, but, but to in that and I and I, I don't know if you remember this or not, but I looked at and I said, This is yours. You choose what you look like, what your business looks like.

01;04;29;28 - 01;04;30;28
Speaker 3
And really.

01;04;31;06 - 01;04;32;14
Speaker 2
How you present yourself to.

01;04;32;14 - 01;04;34;00
Speaker 3
The world. Yes, but.

01;04;34;00 - 01;04;49;25
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah. I don't understand why this is so hard for me. Like literal lifetime, right? All of us of agonizing over what we wear. But in most specifically, my time working for the military.

01;04;49;26 - 01;04;57;14
Speaker 2
Well, I'm going to say so great that. So when I first started looking for jobs, mom was like, you have to have a black suit, you have to have a blue suit. And these are the power.

01;04;57;14 - 01;05;22;28
Speaker 1
Colors, right? And shoes. Brown shoes. There was a uniform that's where this started. Yeah. And I think this experience working for the military amplified that so much for me. You know, military structure is very hierarchical there. Most people are wearing uniforms, like actual uniforms. And if you're not wearing uniforms, you're wearing a uniform still of corporate clothes, you know, and again, black suit.

01;05;23;07 - 01;05;25;18
Speaker 3
Blue suit, black shoes.

01;05;25;26 - 01;05;27;00
Speaker 1
Brown shoes like.

01;05;27;10 - 01;05;27;20
Speaker 3
You.

01;05;27;20 - 01;05;53;29
Speaker 1
And your hair is pulled back in a ponytail like everything is in order. And yeah, I was like, how was my uniform? Like, that was it. That was what I was used to in when I got to the next job after that was a boutique consulting firm. That was the first time I showed up at work. They were like, You know, you don't have to wear makeup and wear heels to the office.

01;05;53;29 - 01;05;59;05
Speaker 3
We were casual wear. You know what? I was like, I don't know about this.

01;05;59;21 - 01;06;11;29
Speaker 1
It literally took me four weeks before I didn't wear heels to the office every day and day. And that was the first time at that job where actually wore my natural hair out at work.

01;06;12;14 - 01;06;13;27
Speaker 3
And that was.

01;06;14;29 - 01;06;17;22
Speaker 1
What, seven years into my working career.

01;06;17;22 - 01;06;18;04
Speaker 3
Like.

01;06;18;19 - 01;06;45;05
Speaker 1
It's so it's just been so ingrained in even now as a CEO. Like I'm cognizant and conscious of how I show up in spaces because I know people are judging me and my business based on how I'm presenting myself is a that's a little bit of the backstory. Why so important to me and why agonize over that? But now sometimes I just wear Chuck Taylors in a nice dress and it's fine.

01;06;45;14 - 01;06;46;05
Speaker 1
It's fine.

01;06;46;05 - 01;07;10;11
Speaker 2
But but no, but I like that, though. And and it's so funny because what I think that I've learned from all of these people that chose to be themselves is that people actually the right people see you and they still accept you. It's a little bit about them going back to the business. It's a little bit about understanding that that is a bit about why you're different and why you need to work with me, right?

01;07;10;12 - 01;07;36;10
Speaker 2
It's because. And so to let let's keep it all the way real. I mean, now you're pulling these new kids that are coming out, the younger adults, they want somebody who will allow them to to, you know, show up as themselves. I worked with a, um, actually, uh, a panelist tester that came in to work one day and she had blue streaks and pink streaks in her hair.

01;07;36;23 - 01;07;47;21
Speaker 2
She was fired three weeks later. And this was this was when I was at my first corporate job. So this was probably about 15. I've been there for about ten years ago.

01;07;47;27 - 01;07;49;13
Speaker 3
Wow. Wow.

01;07;49;16 - 01;08;06;05
Speaker 2
And and it started off with whispers. Everybody was like, Oh, you see, you came in blue hair. And then next thing I know is people were saying that she had performance issues. And also it stemmed from the time she came here with the blue, pink hair.

01;08;06;12 - 01;08;08;29
Speaker 1
That's crazy but not unfounded.

01;08;08;29 - 01;08;22;20
Speaker 2
It's not? No, definitely not. But I think the times have changed. Yeah. And so the old people have to realize that you got to be a lot more accepting to this new generation. And the new generation wants to know if they can be themselves when they walk into the workplace.

01;08;22;23 - 01;08;56;05
Speaker 1
With with my team right now, that is the literal feedback I hear all the time and they just love that they can be themselves like they. A girl came to a meeting with his staff on Monday. I'm like, Do you boo you doing a good job? Great. Excellent, excellent. And that's what people want. They don't want to have to wear these black suit, these blue suit didn't have heels and pull their hair back or not wear blue streaks or pink streaks that that's how they want to express themselves, like how they want to be able to be themselves.

01;08;56;05 - 01;09;00;13
Speaker 1
And so we got to create working environments where that's acceptable. So celebrate. I was going to.

01;09;00;13 - 01;09;03;27
Speaker 2
Say though and this is probably help one another area but.

01;09;05;18 - 01;09;07;20
Speaker 3
People are more.

01;09;07;20 - 01;09;10;27
Speaker 2
Relational in the way that they do business today.

01;09;11;02 - 01;09;11;22
Speaker 1
Yeah, it.

01;09;11;22 - 01;09;37;08
Speaker 2
Is. They want to know that the people who that they are doing business with can understand them respect them, can understand their needs, their desires, their wants and service to them. Yeah. And that is a unique competitive advantage that younger organizations, people who are more progressive in the way they do business will have over these or you know long you know how way we used to do things like, you.

01;09;37;24 - 01;09;40;12
Speaker 3
Know, like nobody's really thought about.

01;09;40;22 - 01;09;53;16
Speaker 2
But I think that you're going to find that you're a lot more successful in being that way now and that if the old business can't get out of the way of their their old ways, then they're going to miss out. Yeah.

01;09;53;22 - 01;09;55;02
Speaker 1
I mean, blockbuster. Yeah.

01;09;55;15 - 01;10;01;16
Speaker 3
Yes. Yeah. Why being blockbuster when you mean that makes smoking. Okay.

01;10;02;07 - 01;10;19;29
Speaker 4
But I think that's really the idea. I mean, for me, I think that we just, you know, you.

01;10;20;16 - 01;10;21;03
Speaker 3
Know.

01;10;21;09 - 01;10;29;15
Speaker 1
How does this look in your life and where are you in your, you know, defining what your own success looks like and what are your struggles there?

01;10;29;18 - 01;10;36;27
Speaker 2
Yeah. So I would say that I'm better off than I've been ever in my life. Professional.

01;10;37;06 - 01;10;38;25
Speaker 1
You give no FS right now.

01;10;39;04 - 01;10;41;04
Speaker 3
I really doubt like. Like, let me tell you.

01;10;41;04 - 01;10;46;15
Speaker 2
So I'm going to put this out there. I'm on maternity right now and I'm going back to work and tell my boss I'm about to do.

01;10;46;17 - 01;10;50;07
Speaker 1
Yes. Yeah. Baby number four really just gets you.

01;10;50;07 - 01;10;54;23
Speaker 3
And this is what a lady the flip switched.

01;10;55;22 - 01;11;35;04
Speaker 2
No but but I think it's a lot of what I was telling you earlier, though, is that it is a new day and time and you have to understand, and I think this is so before I used to sneak into doors, I used to hope that I could get by. But now I think I'm more recognized, my strength and the value that I bring to the table that I'm going to walk in the door my head up high and say, Hey, I hope you know that I'm so so I think that that's more of what it's about for me, is that I have finally found confidence in my ability and what I bring to the

01;11;35;04 - 01;11;39;22
Speaker 2
table. And now I'm requiring that is acknowledged.

01;11;40;03 - 01;12;05;11
Speaker 1
Right. And that's in is a very fortunate time too, I would say, because there is an employee's market still. Um, I think that more people should be out here, not, you know, making demands, do whatever you like. You should be showing up in the way that you want to and leaning into the ways that you show value or like that.

01;12;05;11 - 01;12;11;12
Speaker 1
You can give value because like you care. I'm like, Yeah. And one thing I'll say.

01;12;11;12 - 01;12;41;07
Speaker 2
I'm going to say and and please don't negate by the fact that I'm making demands, but my demands are valuable to the organization and that I'm showing up to. So I am telling you that I require this in order for me to get you what you want. Exactly. And so I think that that's the message is that and why I'm capable of doing that, by the way, is I figured out what I like to do.

01;12;41;11 - 01;12;58;27
Speaker 2
Yeah, I figured out what brings me joy. And when I am in that state of mind I am a lot more valuable to the organization. And so I need to have them acknowledge it, just like I have acknowledged that about myself.

01;12;59;10 - 01;13;23;27
Speaker 1
And think the other part is really around you discover what you want your boundaries to be. Yeah, and I think that that's a huge other part of the equation and you've talked in other episodes about the balance and the harmony that you're trying to create, and that informs how you create boundaries in this space and so if you haven't listened to the episode, definitely do.

01;13;23;27 - 01;13;46;05
Speaker 1
But also you need to be thinking about this like where are you creating value? But also what are your limits? Like where you know, is it diminishing returns for you? Like get clear on that. And I think the other thing I would say is like if it's not out for you in the workplace, there's a whole big world out there like you can really just nowadays do it on your own.

01;13;46;06 - 01;13;55;18
Speaker 2
That's what I wanted to speak more about too. Like, I feel like I hate to say this, probably not PC, but we no longer slaves.

01;13;56;02 - 01;13;56;27
Speaker 3
Ooh, ooh.

01;13;57;03 - 01;13;57;25
Speaker 1
Like Mike.

01;13;57;25 - 01;14;26;25
Speaker 2
Trout. We're not living in Jim Crow. We're not. We're quiet. These are not the only employees in the city that we live in like we we can make shifts. They don't have power over us like they used to have. Like, I realize now that one of the reasons I was more meek, I personally disappeared. Like I didn't show up as my complete self is because I felt like I needed them.

01;14;27;01 - 01;14;28;01
Speaker 2
Mm.

01;14;28;01 - 01;14;29;15
Speaker 1
You preaching? Preaching.

01;14;29;15 - 01;14;43;19
Speaker 2
And, and now I recognize that I don't need you. You need me. Mm. And, and I'm not so oblivious to not think that I can't be replaced, but I understand what the replacement cost is.

01;14;43;26 - 01;14;48;27
Speaker 1
Right. And we're going to eat it in that way or it by keeping you.

01;14;48;27 - 01;14;49;13
Speaker 3
Yes.

01;14;49;25 - 01;15;18;01
Speaker 2
And so it's not that I think that I'm worth a billion gazillion dollars, but I do acknowledge that in order to find someone who's capable of doing. I do. And what I can bring to the table. Right. I'm worth it because I'm worth at least that exact is where I got to. But I do think it's important to say that I think that especially as minorities in the past 25, 30 years, we showed up as if they were giving something.

01;15;18;23 - 01;15;28;29
Speaker 2
We showed up as if it was a handout and not like we earned it or not like we deserved it or not. Like we could find it somewhere else.

01;15;28;29 - 01;15;53;11
Speaker 1
Laurie I don't know what to say to that. I mean, I think that this is so deeply ingrained in me personally, like I it's going to take a lifetime of unpacking. But I can certainly say in, you know, I'm running my own business right now, something that I literally have to wake up and decide to overcome every day.

01;15;53;11 - 01;16;09;10
Speaker 1
Yeah, every single day. And, you know, I think it gets easier as the days pass, but but that's a real hard lesson. Like it sounds very, you know, simple and easy and we got to overcome.

01;16;09;10 - 01;16;21;03
Speaker 2
But like so so, you know, you have to acknowledge to, though, that the reason that it's hard and that you have to overcome it every day is because they're constantly training you to to train you out of it.

01;16;21;03 - 01;16;21;27
Speaker 1
Right? Right.

01;16;21;27 - 01;16;41;00
Speaker 2
Like getting business. They tell you what they want, not what you tell them what you want. Right? Right. When you walk into an office, they say here the employee agreement, right? Like you have to do these things in order to meet our needs. They don't say, we're going to do this to keep you in. And it's in the vernacular.

01;16;41;00 - 01;16;42;03
Speaker 2
Right. Because those things do.

01;16;42;14 - 01;17;04;04
Speaker 4
I mean, but you come in with ownership talk, right?

01;17;04;06 - 01;17;12;14
Speaker 2
We're always trying to turn their power over. You organizations assert their power over you and we you to come back and say, no, but I'm powerful. That's a.

01;17;12;14 - 01;17;14;15
Speaker 3
Harder and harder task.

01;17;15;17 - 01;17;17;10
Speaker 2
To deal with yourself every day, right?

01;17;17;11 - 01;17;38;09
Speaker 1
Yeah, it's hard. I mean, to me it's hard because I think I'm operating in a space in which I am not strong. Right. I mean, I'm forced to operate in spaces in which I'm not strong. I think I have a pretty good sense of the value that I bring to organized actions. However, am I in my current position?

01;17;38;09 - 01;17;39;00
Speaker 1
I'm forced to.

01;17;39;00 - 01;17;39;25
Speaker 3
Do.

01;17;40;02 - 01;17;58;15
Speaker 1
A lot of things outside of that, so I think it's even harder to just show up with that same level of confidence. Yeah, well, you know, is that going there? But you got to be confident anyways. Yeah, I think that is a challenge and I don't know. What would you say to that? I'm like, I think it's just like, do a scare.
01;17;58;15 - 01;17;59;29
Speaker 1
Like, I ain't got no choice but to.

01;17;59;29 - 01;18;21;24
Speaker 2
Do that is the answer. They say fake it to you, make it. But I do think that and I would tell you that you are always going to be more critical in yourself than anyone else is on you. So when you even when you think you're not strong, you may not be as weak as you think you are.

01;18;21;27 - 01;18;41;19
Speaker 1
Yeah, and that, I know is actually one of my strengths. My to learn something, I'll learn you all day long. And I think that that also gives me a little bit of confidence around like I'm just care because even if it's not done well the first time you go, you better believe the next time I'm going.

01;18;42;10 - 01;18;45;22
Speaker 2
To bring out a little mama. That is all I can tell you is no.

01;18;45;22 - 01;18;47;28
Speaker 1
Oh, yeah, that's that is so.

01;18;48;02 - 01;18;57;09
Speaker 2
So if you didn't do well that was in practice to get you prepared for the next time and that's all that that was. So it's not that you're out of the race. Yeah. Is that is not yet.

01;18;57;15 - 01;19;16;23
Speaker 1
Yeah I dig that. That's those are gems y'all. We are going to end it there because that really is what it comes down to at the end of the day. Like this might not be the time or this might not be the opportunity, but it's the next one and it's the next time. And you never know when that next time is going to be.

01;19;16;28 - 01;19;30;29
Speaker 1
So don't give up on yourself in like don't let that deter you from figuring out what your success looks like because they can be solid pictures that they told. You can do whatever it is that you want to do.

01;19;31;00 - 01;19;36;17
Speaker 2
Yeah. And you should. You live your best life. Your best life, not somebody else's.

01;19;36;25 - 01;19;42;25
Speaker 1
I was like, Can we make that into an acronym like YOLO or something? Live your life, you know?

01;19;42;28 - 01;19;47;00
Speaker 3
Okay, how about right here next to have you got to do it.

01;19;47;00 - 01;19;49;09
Speaker 2
I'm not a Dixon and we are black girl.

Introduction
Finding Your Success
Success Checkboxes
Business is Changing- Be Yourself
Make Demands in Business
Takeaways