Balancing Work and Life

On this episode of BGF, Ava and Tashaunda discuss balancing work and personal life. Tashaunda shares her struggles with over-commitment, while Ava emphasizes spiritual alignment. They explore goal setting, with Tashaunda focusing on short-term aims and Ava on her growth in long-term planning. Both stress consistency in pursuing goals. The conversation underscores the importance of understanding personal ambitions and aligning with one's purpose.

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00:45 Prioritization and Overcommitment

4:19 Aligning Work

6:01 God’s Assignment For You

8:07 Time Frame Planning

14:12 Small Changes

14:33 Final Thoughts 

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Chapters

• 0:45 Prioritization and Overcommitment
• 4:19 Aligning Work
• 6:01 God’s Assignment For You
• 8:07 Time Frame Planning
• 14:12 Small Changes
• 14:33 Final Thoughts

Transcript

Speaker 1 | 09;28;21;17 | 09;28;25;01 | Welcome back to another episode of Black Eye, and you grow alluring.
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Speaker 2 | 09;28;25;10 | 09;28;26;14 | And I'm Shannon Dixon.
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Speaker 1 | 09;28;27;09 | 09;28;36;02 | And today we're going to be talking about Clinton. First things first. Can I take the credit for that? You know, that was to sound over here, dropping the bars. Okay.
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Speaker 2 | 09;28;37;14 | 09;28;37;26 | But what do.
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Speaker 1 | 09;28;37;26 | 09;28;40;24 | You mean, my friend? First things first.
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Speaker 2 | 09;28;40;25 | 09;29;09;19 | Well, I think it really does get down to really the unsexy word prioritization. So I was telling Eva off air, I'm in this different space in life right now. Like I had to admit, I had to self-reflect and realize that I have definitely had a history of overcommitting myself. And then not really, really hitting the mark on some of the things that I was doing.
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Speaker 2 | 09;29;10;10 | 09;29;29;08 | And so right now in my life, I'm like, Hey, how do I select the thing that I need to be doing and focus on those things? Like how do I figure out how to manage it? And like, you guys heard it in a in a prior episode without thinking, I'm Superwoman and can do it all because I know that's not possible.
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Speaker 2 | 09;29;29;09 | 09;29;29;22 | Right.
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Speaker 1 | 09;29;30;01 | 09;29;50;12 | So what were we used to? They can just, for the record, let their anger show. But it is so funny that you say that because I'm in a very similar season and I've been in a season where at least a year where I'm like, the only thing that I can commit to is this business and my relationship building.
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Speaker 1 | 09;29;50;21 | 09;29;58;03 | I only get two things and then I slowly introduce and stuff like the gym, which was necessary.
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Speaker 2 | 09;29;58;23 | 09;30;01;29 | Know, I would say that I really like the gym.
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Speaker 1 | 09;30;04;09 | 09;30;19;21 | But I'm like. But yeah, but I totally I've been so hesitant to add anything else because those things have been number one, taking up all my time. And then when I'm not doing them, I just don't want to do nothing. I just want to get out.
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Speaker 2 | 09;30;20;05 | 09;30;21;05 | Got snap on that.
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Speaker 1 | 09;30;22;18 | 09;30;55;08 | But. But it's not healthy. Yeah. And that's been pointed out to me by a number of people to just have basically, like, work. And then, I don't know, one main relationship. It's a lot of pressure on both of those things to support all of your needs. And so I've been also in this season of like knowing that I need to add more stuff, maybe not start the new year and but that's like, I know that I need to add more stuff, but I've been so particular.
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Speaker 1 | 09;30;55;08 | 09;31;00;25 | Like literally I've been spending months trying to figure out what they were adding.
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Speaker 2 | 09;31;01;02 | 09;31;35;21 | I think that gets to where I trying to get with this conversation though, is I know I need to add more stuff. And for me it's been I'm starting to reflect and figure out what are those important things and make sure that I'm actually considering my whole bigger picture. And I'll put this out if you guys know I'm an overshare, but I got a little argument with my partner or whatever, and he was like, You work too much and, and, and, and basically I don't see you at all.
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Speaker 2 | 09;31;35;21 | 09;32;03;04 | But he was like, I expected you to be more of this or to do more of that. And I was like, I had to sit back and hear him. And I was like, It wasn't that we were so different and our thought process is it was that I think about showing up in those areas differently. And so I was like, Let me make sure that I am, you know, looking at the whole picture.
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Speaker 2 | 09;32;03;04 | 09;32;12;09 | So I get understand all my life and really pick the right activities to be doing to support. That should be important to me. Does that make sense?
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Speaker 1 | 09;32;12;17 | 09;32;38;01 | That absolutely makes sense. Is that so? No. One, the one thing I would offer is I'm like, are there things that you're currently doing that just could be aligned better? Right. So we all got to work to some extent, to some degree. Like, how does that work align with the rest? Right? If it's totally separate, then it feels like an add on.
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Speaker 1 | 09;32;38;15 | 09;32;43;00 | But if it's like a part of the mix, like a part of the whole cohesive vision, then it doesn't.
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Speaker 2 | 09;32;43;03 | 09;33;10;12 | We all learn this with the work and then the challenge of all to like, I do have this part of my life and I don't think that it's so it aligns well with who I am, but it doesn't align well with my family and how we coexist together. And so it does feel like Mom is away, like my not there, my partner is away, she's not there.
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Speaker 2 | 09;33;10;21 | 09;33;25;25 | And in my mind I'm like, this is great because I'm doing all the things that I love. I'm helping people and I'm doing this. I'm creating and I'm I'm doing all these things. And it's weird because they don't get to see that part of it either. Right?
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Speaker 1 | 09;33;25;25 | 09;33;30;01 | Right, right, right. Because it's totally kind of separate.
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Speaker 2 | 09;33;30;13 | 09;33;30;23 | Yeah.
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Speaker 1 | 09;33;30;23 | 09;33;54;13 | Yeah. So, I mean, I think that that sounds like the principal challenge for you is like having you. I don't know. Integration is the right word, but just like more flow between the worlds so that they don't feel so separate. I think that would bring that would relieve you of a lot of guilt for sure. And I think some of the pressure that maybe your partner feels that separation.
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Speaker 1 | 09;33;55;07 | 09;33;58;05 | Oh, yeah. For me, I think.
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Speaker 2 | 09;33;58;19 | 09;33;58;26 | Yeah.
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Speaker 1 | 09;34;00;11 | 09;34;20;09 | The thing that I've been really focused on is like getting back to God, like God's assignment for my life. And, you know, I also I feel like I was very early, probably 15, 16, when I received my assignments.
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Speaker 2 | 09;34;22;01 | 09;34;24;03 | And I was the same age, actually.
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Speaker 1 | 09;34;25;10 | 09;34;49;07 | And, you know, we we in our thirties and and how close are we to what does it say? I think that's kind of the wakeup call that at. And I feel like I've been making directional progress though it hasn't been intentional and so that's just a sign to me that God has been direct to me since.
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Speaker 2 | 09;34;50;17 | 09;34;51;22 | We're working towards.
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Speaker 1 | 09;34;52;21 | 09;35;18;01 | We're going without me, but you got to do this. So I just realized, like, maybe I should just actually do the thing. And it wouldn't feel like I'm like fighting so much against, you know, to get to the next step because the doors will just open because they have been without me trying to on that front. And so that's what I've really been like microscopically looking at everything in my life.
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Speaker 1 | 09;35;18;01 | 09;35;40;06 | Like, is this aligned with the vision? Like, is am I supposed to be doing this? Does this give me a step closer? If not, you know, we shouldn't be doing this. And so that's been the hard part of like you got damaged. You got to let go of some stuff that you perhaps have been working towards and working on, or that feeling like you're making progress know.
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Speaker 1 | 09;35;40;12 | 09;36;00;06 | Yeah, exactly. I feel important. And so it's part of divorcing that. And then the other part for me is like, Oh yeah, I plan to do that in two years and that's why not this. Like, this should be your priority now, right? Like you're delaying it for or for your whole.
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Speaker 2 | 09;36;00;09 | 09;36;19;05 | So it's funny that you brought that up because I think that I struggle with the other thing well, too. Like, I think about the things that I want to do or that I'm trying to get done, and I put everything in this timeframe that's like almost a year or less. And then I don't do planning. I think we talk about I don't do great long term planning.
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Speaker 2 | 09;36;19;14 | 09;36;38;07 | Like I had I had a very like this past year, I had a very hard goal and I did make it and I looked up and I was like, you know, that was too you know what? You know it, you know, or that's why I didn't work. And then I didn't have a backup that was a more realistic pad for it.
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Speaker 2 | 09;36;39;11 | 09;36;58;12 | So I think that's also important. My my, just really prioritizing for like, now. But think about your life more like it is more with this, like give it timeframe. I think everybody tends to think about goals in the years instead of, Oh, go.
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Speaker 1 | 09;36;58;29 | 09;37;02;13 | I'm just on call out the fact that you think two years is a long way.
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Speaker 2 | 09;37;02;18 | 09;37;11;08 | To go, but I know the way that doesn't go right And you say this right, I'm so girl.
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Speaker 1 | 09;37;12;21 | 09;37;20;24 | You know, but then say to me, there's also a long way to here then so far out. Yeah, that's the way I like it is.
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Speaker 2 | 09;37;20;24 | 09;37;21;22 | So I think for.
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Speaker 1 | 09;37;22;20 | 09;37;45;18 | Some I got the same problem. But as a side note, I realized that I only I'm not good at long range goals because I, I've ingrained in myself that actually I want to live long. So once I was down, well, this is something that I just recently unpacked, right? So I never.
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Speaker 2 | 09;37;46;05 | 09;37;49;23 | Think you'll find this an episode like Season three.
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Speaker 1 | 09;37;50;23 | 09;38;02;26 | So no, but that I just been able to lift it. I haven't been able to lift it before, even though I tried because I was black. But now I can now plan past ten years.
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Speaker 2 | 09;38;03;13 | 09;38;03;23 | Yeah.
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Speaker 1 | 09;38;04;12 | 09;38;23;18 | And so now I can finally envision what past 20 years looks like. And so being able to envision even further out can now make your, I think, your one year to year more realistic because you got 20 years senior. So yeah, that's 20 years to save the world.
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Speaker 2 | 09;38;24;12 | 09;38;26;13 | Like you mean after by.
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Speaker 1 | 09;38;27;09 | 09;38;38;26 | Oh I'm like so basically for me I haven't even worked for 20 years. So like I got a whole nother career to figure this stuff out. It doesn't make you do, though. It's crazy. Yeah.
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Speaker 2 | 09;38;39;06 | 09;38;47;13 | Yeah. I haven't made my 20 year mark either. Yeah, of course, But I've made it. Well, like, we got a whole other job as a teenager.
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Speaker 1 | 09;38;48;15 | 09;38;51;03 | That not we're not going to include no liberty text.
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Speaker 2 | 09;38;51;11 | 09;38;58;15 | You know? So, I mean, Valley fair. Well, that was a real thing. I could work that many dol that machine.
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Speaker 1 | 09;38;58;19 | 09;39;13;29 | But, but yeah, but I'm like imagine, I mean I wouldn't say full throttle, but like now we're at a certain level now and imagine like it just builds on top of that for the next 20 years.
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Speaker 2 | 09;39;14;04 | 09;39;43;06 | So I'm going to say this though. This is a totally out of the gate, you know how we do. But I like to it's amazing to me what I even think about the trajectory. Like, I guess it goes back to what you were saying about thinking about the last ten years. What has happened in the last ten years, Like ten years ago, man, in years ago, you remember I mean, since 23, I go, wow, you're in August.
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Speaker 1 | 09;39;43;13 | 09;39;58;27 | You had just graduated. Probably my masters working in the government and talking to those people like, I don't want to be here in 2050 wishing as I was. So you're.
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Speaker 2 | 09;39;58;28 | 09;40;00;16 | Not there. You made that true.
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Speaker 1 | 09;40;00;22 | 09;40;04;08 | You I was going to a happy hour traveling the world.
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Speaker 2 | 09;40;04;22 | 09;40;08;09 | I say like one time you're paying a lot of money and happy. Yeah.
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Speaker 1 | 09;40;09;10 | 09;40;22;13 | No, that's the thing. I was broke at that hour. Happy hours was real cheap. Meaning we were drinking very terrible out. Now I'd be like, Rachel.
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Speaker 2 | 09;40;22;23 | 09;40;26;24 | I katri. Okay, have that when you it. You get.
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Speaker 1 | 09;40;27;07 | 09;40;30;00 | It. Now you can only drink one drink now. I can't do.
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Speaker 2 | 09;40;30;00 | 09;40;50;06 | It. Okay, so. But so like, like going back to that and or staying there, that's where you've come from and, and you do have more time, you know, women's empowerment, but you do have more time. And citing where you're at, I mean, I feel like sky's the limit compared to to where we were.
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Speaker 1 | 09;40;51;09 | 09;41;16;27 | Yeah. I mean, I think that so we're having an outlier conversation about prioritization, but I think that to help you put these things in perspective and we were literally saying like, it's not about going 100 full throttle on something else. It's about, you know, making one meaningful step a week or, you know, two or three a week towards that goal, because now you have a longer runway.
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Speaker 1 | 09;41;17;03 | 09;41;20;22 | The runway is not one year. It's it's 20.
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Speaker 2 | 09;41;22;00 | 09;41;22;16 | I would've never.
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Speaker 1 | 09;41;22;16 | 09;41;24;03 | Thought I'd played those scenes, you know.
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Speaker 2 | 09;41;24;15 | 09;41;50;14 | In the season opener we talked about, man, we've been at this six seasons. I can ever imagine You're all you're starting out and you're like, How do we make it so they could find us easily and, you know, see if there was a problem and I'm like, now we have content of content. Content like who would have a lot of SEO and and it really it really just happened.
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Speaker 2 | 09;41;50;14 | 09;42;03;04 | We just stuck with it and we put a I'm putting this podcast into that same context. We put a little time here, we put a little time here, we put a little time here, and it creates that. That's pretty powerful.
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Speaker 1 | 09;42;03;26 | 09;42;26;14 | Yeah, it is. So, I mean, I think that's a beautiful way to think about. It's just like I think we talked about this on an episode. Well, it was the small things that we can commit to regularly and do that for a long time rather than like going hard for one week and burning yourself out and then being back to square zero.
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Speaker 2 | 09;42;26;22 | 09;42;28;16 | All right, That's good. Yeah.
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Speaker 1 | 09;42;29;11 | 09;42;32;15 | Okay. All right. Prioritization. You know, first things.
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Speaker 2 | 09;42;32;16 | 09;42;33;17 | First.
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Speaker 1 | 09;42;35;07 | 09;42;44;22 | So I don't feel like I know where my things are, but I definitely think with this reflective on this conversation is going to help me to figure this out.
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Speaker 2 | 09;42;45;06 | 09;43;15;04 | Yeah, I think you're right. Me? I think if I had to summarize it, I'd say it's still all about who you are and stepping back and looking at your goals and not making everything so urgent and so large is what I heard you so focus on. What is your goal? What is your your mission? What is that thing that God told you to do your assignment and and allocate toward the ground go crazy.
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Speaker 2 | 09;43;15;04 | 09;43;16;26 | You don't have to go crazy to accomplish it.
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Speaker 1 | 09;43;17;20 | 09;43;24;14 | Yeah, I take it I do. Good. So I next until next time, folks I am. You grew up in this Nicole.
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Speaker 2 | 09;43;24;14 | 09;43;25;16 | And I'm Shannon Dixon.
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Speaker 1 | 09;43;25;16 | 09;43;27;04 | And we are black girl fly.